Love & Relationships: Why Does He Lie To Me?

Not all men are liars, but when they do fib it’s often over things that don’t really matter. “Did you take out the trash?” You get a, “Yes!” when it should have been a “No!” What is probably more disheartening than the actual lie is the unavoidable questioning that comes afterwards. Women can’t help but think, “He’s hiding something else!” With the evidence provided, it wouldn’t be hard to imagine. What could make an intelligent, strong man want to lie about taking out the garbage?

I found some interesting answers in a book that I’m reading called, “WTF Are Men Thinking?” by Christopher Brya and Miguel Almaraz. The authors compiled a survey that asked over 250,000 men detailed relationship questions, including a section on lying. (That must have been a challenge!) According to the book, 65 percent of men say they lie to avoid fighting with their spouse or girlfriend. “We lie because women will flip out soooooooo bad over the stupidest little thing. If they didn’t do that and were more understanding, we could be more truthful,” said one of the men polled. (I can see that!)

Surprisingly, the second top reason men lie is laziness. Some guys say they are just too lazy to do what they’ve promised. It’s easier to lie about it than put on a pair of pants and do it. Other men blame their lying on their ego and the easiness of telling lies. To this group, it’s like a hobby.

So how to teach an “old dog” new tricks? Rather than wondering, “Why does he lie to me?” take action! Give him the benefit of the doubt and hope that he’s in the upper 65 percent that are plain afraid to fight. When a lie is revealed, don’t go into full-blown panic mode. Be calm. Assure him that it wouldn’t have been the end of the world if he’d told you the truth. However, if he’s one of the twerps lying because it makes him feel good, you should skip the training session. Cut him loose.

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