5 Things That Annoy Parents On The Go

Being a parent forces you to notice things in your surroundings that may have never before crossed your mind. One of them is the dreaded commute to and from places that aren’t walking distance. It takes damn near the preparation level of a military invasion to almost get it right.

I say almost because unless you have a small suitcase ready for every trip, something is going to happen that will throw off everything you planned for. This is why I laugh every time someone smugly says “Oh, you just have to plan ahead.” Meanwhile, it’s their nanny who’s doing all the heavy parental lifting with their kids.

What burns me up even more are the people who are outright inconsiderate of your mission to transport your children from point A to B with all of their limbs attached. It’s almost like they get a sick, masochistic joy out of seeing you struggle, especially on public transportation.

Larger cities are the worst for this kind of behavior since people tend to carry social baggage from their own worlds and fling the contents at whomever they happen to pass. I realize most people aren’t psychopaths in this respect but when you run into one, boy, is it a sledgehammer to the funny bone. This week, I’d like to enlighten you as to how some people make the job of a parent way harder than it should be.

1. Not holding the door

It only takes a second or two to hold the door long enough for me to push the stroller through far enough and catch it myself. Unless you’ve got explosive diarrhea and the countdown is near zero, holding the door for a stressed-out parent isn’t going to destroy your day.

2. Bumping the stroller too hard

Calm down Speed Racer. I’m not pushing a tank here; it’s stroller with a small child in it. Yes, the sidewalk, train or bus might get crowded but that doesn’t mean that jumping over my kid’s stroller is going to get you to your destination any faster. All it does is validate your douchebag certification.

3. Rushing the elevator

I’m aware that the stroller is taking up more space than you’re used to,  your majesty but me and my child  aren’t going to cause you to miss your floor and  How about you let me go in first and I can position this thing so that everyone can fit? As far as mass transit elevators, since it doesn’t look like you’re physically disabled or elderly, unless your little tote bag has a liver in it that you’re rushing to save an orphan with, save the huffing and mumbling and just take the escalator.

Sure, we’re in a crowded space and the stroller tray may tempting but it’s there for snacks and my backpack. It doesn’t mean your sidewalk edition Louis Vuitton bag should sit on it, too. Who knows what that depths of filth that bag has been to and now you want to put it where my child eats his Cheerios?

5. Bringing your fight/argument next to my child

It’s easy to blow a fuse during the rat race of life. For whatever reason, some people don’t mind throwing a haymaker over the head of other people who nothing to do with it. Kids included. No lie, a guy once tried to smash a large picture frame over the head of another subway passenger sitting next to my son’s stroller.

I had to ask the guy if he was willing to go to jail for assaulting another man and a toddler. That calmed him down a bit and he stormed off however, the parent in me wanted to plant the same kick on him that put down Ronda Rousey. If you’re going to fight someone for whatever ignorant reason, please take it outside away from others, especially kids. No one cares how much of it you’re not having.

This isn’t too much to ask of people who consider themselves adults. While there are people who believe that having a stroller gives them extra privileges, I’d like to think that most are aware of their surroundings and not on a mission to inconvenience others. Believe me, all we’re looking for is a little courtesy, not a pinch hitter for a diaper change.

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